Ugh. Cyrus and I leave for Phoenix in 13 days, and suddenly, things that I've been tolerating for the past four months have become completely intolerable. For some reason, the last two weeks of any experience are always the hardest for me. In elementary school, the last two weeks before vacation made me restless and antsy. Anytime I've been away from home for an extended period of time, I hardly miss my family until I'm about ready to go home, and then it becomes almost unbearable.
Now that the end is in sight, being without my husband and being the sole parent for Cyrus is driving me a little nuts. Not to mention that fact that we've been living in someone else's house, albeit my parent's house, for the past four months. I lost my patience and yelled at Cyrus three times today. And it wasn't that he was being unusually naughty - I just couldn't keep my cool. He has recently started throwing a massive fit every time I change his diaper. Usually, I try to find something to distract him, or I sing him a song, but today, I suddenly felt overwhelmed and frustrated at being the only parent, and instead of trying to help him out, I yelled. Loudly. And I might have cursed. Now, don't get me wrong, my parents have been incredibly helpful, but it's just not the same thing as having Jason around to jump in when I just can't do it any more. It probably doesn't help that Cyrus woke up at 4:30am today for the second day in a row (stupid daylight savings time).
I've been trying to remind myself all day long that I just need to make it a little while longer and then our little family can be together again, in our own house. Now, if Cyrus could maybe sleep in past 5am tomorrow, I might just make it!